Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
