Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
