So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
