Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
