So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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