There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize