He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
