she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
