Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
