He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
