and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
