so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need a beard to bite.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
