his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
