I feel like I'm in dance class right now
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
