Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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