there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize