so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The ass gains better be worth it
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