i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
