It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
