when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
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The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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