It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
