Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
