Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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