College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
