Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
