Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
