she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
