For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
