um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
