Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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