Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
