i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
