**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
