11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
