I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
