He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
