No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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