A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
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