Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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