sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
