I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
