im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My vagina is officially offended.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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