Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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