i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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