I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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