Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
should my penis look like a turkey
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
