I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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