i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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