The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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