he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
