have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
