Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
