I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
