Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
