piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
