Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
