what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
