when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
