Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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