remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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