as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
