I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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