Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
